5 Tips to Help You Choose a Bridesmaid

Selecting bridesmaids may not be as easy and fun as you may think.  There are so many considerations to keep in mind. Who’s wedding have you been in before? Should you invite an ex-sister-in-law you’re close to or friend you haven’t seen in years?  What about your groom’s daughter, who’s just turning 17 and frankly, not your favorite fan?

If you’re overwhelmed by the process and aren’t quite sure what to do, take a look at 5 Tips to Help You Choose a Bridesmaid: 

  1. How big is your wedding? Generally, larger weddings have larger wedding parties, while smaller weddings tend to have a smaller more intimate group.  No matter how big or small your wedding party is, shoot for an equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids. If it doesn’t work out that way, you can always choose some creative choreography. In a perfect world though, shouldn’t everyone have someone on their arm? 
  2. Do your bridesmaids fully support you and your groom?  Any bridesmaid you select should be a big fan of you both and love the idea of you living happily ever after. Unfortunately, it’s fairly common for at least one friend to be jealous of you and/or your situation. Make sure every bridesmaid you choose wants to see you flourish.  No one wants a saboteur, but rather a celebrant!   
  3. Can your bridesmaid afford the expense of being a bridesmaid or would it add to her financial ruin? We can all borrow money to cover important costs, but if you’re on the fence about inviting a bridesmaid to be part of your wedding, she may be on the fence too about spending the money. There’s not just the expense of her dress, but the shower, bachelorette party, gifts and so many incidentals. Sometimes it’s best to keep a friend a friend, and not a bridesmaid. 
  4. Does your family have a say in who’s included? Often, parents pay or at least contribute to wedding costs. Think carefully before you leave out your difficult sister who hasn’t said a nice word about you in years. Is it really worth the family drama to exclude her or others on your list? Only you can decide. Either way, be prepared for some soul searching. 
  5. What does your future husband want? Who are his best friends, brothers or college buddies that he’d like to include on “his” big day?  You may like these guys or not, but as you know marriage is a compromise. Actually, compromise starts well before the “I do.” But, you knew that. 

As a final tip, don’t choose someone who’s going to add stress to your day. There’s enough stress already! Think lifelong friends and family when choosing your bridesmaids. After all, they should be, friends to the end.


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